英语写作后怎么修改?有哪些修改技巧或案例介绍的?

您是不是曾经遇到下面的场景?

  1. 写英文论文的时候,感觉词汇量贫乏,高频率使用本科或者以下的词汇
  2. 用中文思维写作,写出来的是中式英语(Chinglish)
  3. 用别人文章的原话,却不会改写,结果被警告有剽窃嫌疑
  4. 如果您是老师,看到学生的英语论文后心里吐血
  5. 如果您是学生,被导师骂英语太差
  6. 老是在语法上出错,比如忘了冠词,或者分不清 that 和 which 之间的区别
  7. 投稿的时候,编辑建议你修改英语
  8. 写英文论文的时候,先写中文然后翻译
  9. 写英文电子邮件的时候,邮件显得很不得体

这时候,你可能想,如果有个母语是英语、专业知识渊博、随叫随到、不厌其烦的人帮我改甚至帮我写就好了。Meeloun论文网就是这样的一个机构!下面,我们用例子看看我们的英文论文修改实例。

一:修改中式英语

首先看看一个经典的中式英语(”好好学习,天天向上”)

原文:good good study, day day up

改后:It is beneficial to study regularly and make continuous progress.

然后再看一个典型的中式英语。据说一位中国留学生目睹了一场车祸,警察问他怎么回事,他描述到:one car come one car go, two car pengpeng one car die。他甚至不知道碰撞这个词怎么说,就用象声词”砰砰”代替。

原文:one car come one car go, two car pengpeng one car die

改后:One car arrives and another car leaves; two cars collide and one car is destroyed.

还有我们常说的吸烟对身体不好,我们总是用body这个词,但这不符合英语习惯。

原文:Smoking is harmful to your body.

改后:Smoking is detrimental to one’s health.

另外,中文习惯于主观思维,而英文更倾向于客观思维。比如(Wang 2012)

原文:I suddenly got a good idea.

改后:It suddenly occurred to me that this would be a good idea.

在上面的例子中,虽然原文是中式英语,词汇非常贫乏,还有语法错误,但是文献助手都准确地了解了原文想要表达的意思,并且用地道的英文表达了出来。

二:丰富贫乏的词汇

原文:Because bad weather, we cancel the trip.

改后:Due to the inclement weather, we have been forced to cancel the excursion.

在这个例子中,原文用”bad”形容天气,虽然没有错误,但是却过于普通。修改后用了inclement(恶劣的),一下子就让句子变得高大上起来。同时,trip也被改成了excursion,because(其实应该是 because of)改成了更适合的due to等,这些都让句子变成了地道的书面英语。

原文:fNIRS is better than fMRI because it’s cheap and easy to carry.

改后:fNIRS is more affordable and portable than fMRI, making it a more practical option for many people.

在这个例子中,原文试图比较两种脑科学技术(fNIRS和fMRI),说fNIRS在价格和方便性上有优势。但是选词过于口语化(cheap、easy to carry)。修改成 affordable 和 portable 后就变成了正式书面英语。

原文:The teacher’s encouragement made me want to do better in my study.

改后:The teacher’s support motivated me to strive for better grades.

在这个例子中,原文用了 make 和 want 这样的词。因为词汇贫乏,make 以及 want 是中国学生用得最多的词之一了。修改成 motivate 和 strive 后就好多了。

三:纠正语法

中国学生在写英语的时候,常犯的语法错误包括:(1)忽略了冠词(a、an、the),(2)which 和 that 不分,(3)特殊名字的单复数(比如faculty),(4)拼写错误等。

原文:We used device purchased from X company to measure light intensity.

改后:We used a device purchased from X company to measure light intensity.

原文:Our of 100 samples, we selected 54 which showed blue.

改后:Out of 100 samples, we selected 54 that showed blue.

原文:5 faculty from our university attended the confrence.

改后:Five faculty members from our university attended the conference.

在这几个例子中,原文的语法和拼写错误都被改正了。另外,一般阿拉伯数字是不放在句首的,这个也纠正了。

四:改写句子、避免抄袭嫌疑

在写学术论文的时候,我们经常需要引用过去研究者发表的句子来支持自己的观点。这个本身并没有问题,但是需要对原话进行改写,变一种说法。可是,如何修改才能保持意思不变、并且不会引入语法和用词错误?

原文:Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in China and around the world.【Liang 2019】

改后:Lung cancer is responsible for more cancer deaths than any other type of cancer globally, including in China.

原文:Robots fueled by Artificial Intelligence (AI) are expected to advance significantly over the next years and foster a key element of future societies.【Karnouskos 2021】

改后:It is anticipated that robots powered by Artificial Intelligence will make considerable progress in the coming years, playing a vital role in future societies.

原文:The use of environmental taxes is a tool for the optimal allocation of resources to increase social welfare. 【Norouzi 2022】

改后:Environmental taxes are an effective means of allocating resources to improve social welfare.

在这几个例子中,原文均来自已经发表的科学论文。修改后的句子保持了原句的意思,但是在选词和表达方式上都发生了变化。

五:改写过长的句子

我们在写英文的时候,另一个常犯的错误是一个句子太长。在中文中一个句子可以包含许多内容,但是如果直接翻译成英文就不符合英语的习惯。下面的例子来自 Felicia Brittma 的文章。

原文:According to the characteristic of fan-coil air-conditioning systems, this paper derives the cooling formula of fan-coil units based on heat transfer theories and puts forward a new method to gauge cooling named Cooling Metering on the Airside, which can monitor the individual air-conditioning cooling consumption during a period of time by detecting the parameters of inlet air condition – temperature and humidity – of the fan-coil air-conditioning system as well as the parameters of inlet cooling water provided by the chiller.

改后:The cooling formula of fan-coil units is derived from heat transfer theories. A new method, Cooling Metering on the Airside, is put forward to gauge cooling. The individual air-conditioning cooling consumption during a period of time can be monitored by detecting the parameters of inlet air condition – temperature and humidity – of the fan-coil air-conditioning system as well as the parameters of inlet cooling water provided by the chiller.

在这这个例子中,原文句子被分成了几个句子,更容易理解。

六:边想边写

我们不仅可以修改您已经写好的句子,她还可以把几个不成句子的几个词写成句子,帮您直接把思想表达出来。

原文:internet, too many opinions, conflict, no listen to each other, polarized

改后:The internet has brought about a deluge of opinions, which has lead to increased conflict as people struggle to be heard. Instead of listening to each other, people have become polarized, only valuing opinions that confirm their own.

原文:fNIRS, good; fMRI, worse in cost

改后:fNIRS is a more cost-effective option than fMRI for studying brain activity.

原文:11 participants, 4 male 7 female, all right-handed, mean age 23.5.

改后:A total of 11 right-handed individuals (4 males, 7 females), with an average age of 23.5 years, participated in the study.

七:中文也懂

如果您连英文句子甚至单词都写不出来(比如某些术语),我们还是可以帮到您。你可以输入中文句子、词组、或者中英混搭。我们并不是简单地把您的文字翻译成英文,会帮您把句子变成符合英语习惯的纯正英文。

原文:部分宋朝文人,经济,改革,过于激进

改后:Some Song Dynasty literati advocated for reform, but their ideas were too radical for many people.

原文:调查了某乡镇常住人口流感发病率。

改后:The occurrence of influenza was studied in a township’s resident population.

原文:fnirs 越来越流行。fnirs相对fmri,有几个优势。so, fnirs 在多个领域 has many unique 应用

改后:The popularity of FNIRS is increasing due to its advantages over fMRI. FNIRS has several unique applications in various fields.

八:续写

当您写了半个或一个句子,不知道如何往下写的时候,文献助手可以帮您。

原文:The sun has the following planets

续写:The sun has the following planets: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.

原文:Immunotherapy is effective in treating cancers. The cancers that have been treated using immunotherapy include

续写:Immunotherapy is effective in treating cancers. The cancers that have been treated using immunotherapy include melanoma, lung cancer, kidney cancer, bladder cancer, and head and neck cancer.

原文:Internet addiction among adolescents is a serious problem and causing

改后:Internet addiction among adolescents is a serious problem and causing great concern to parents, teachers and health professionals.

不过需要注意的是,文献助手续写的句子可能不是事实,您需要注意核对文献。

九:论文之外的文体

除了可以帮您改论文,我们还可以帮你修改其它书面文体,比如电子邮件、新闻、博客、网站等等。

原文:My name is Ming from X University. I admire your work. I want to study under you next year. Is it OK?

改后:I am Ming, a student from X University. I have been following your work and I am very impressed. I would like to study under your mentorship and learn from you next year. Would that be possible?

上面的例子是一名中国学生发的电子邮件。原文的表达在语气上有些不礼貌,修改后好了很多。

总结

从上面的例子可以看出来,我们的英文论文修改对科研人员、学生等有下面的好处:

  1. 让写地道的英文论文变得容易
  2. 把中式英语改成符合英语习惯的标准英语
  3. 把自己的思想用纯正的英语清晰地表达出来